The Horrors of High School
by Boneyboy and Curleyblue
Summary: The Naruto Gang in high school! Note: They aren't exactly ninja in this fic. Pairings are inside. No Flaming! Rated may go up in later chapters Renamed from Horrors of College
1. The First Day: Sorting of Dorms

Curleyblue: Hi peoples! We just had a major brainwave and came up with this idea!

Boneyboy: The war has been postponed because the Freak got a cut and had to run home so that his mommy could put Neosporin™ on it.

Neji: They actually came up with this idea while writing on the back of their little brother's menu at Outback Steakhouse!

Gai and Lee: YUM!

Curleyblue: My OC: Abby and Boneyboy's OC: Jaden will make their first appearance in this fic.

Gaara: Curleyblue-chan and Boneyboy-sama do not own Naruto, its pairings: Naruto X Hinata, Neji X Tenten, Gaara X Abby (OC), Sasuke X Sakura, Shikamaru X Ino, and Jaden (OC) X Amy (OC), the insecticide Raid, or the slight resemblance to Yu-Gi-Oh GX

The Horrors of High School

(A/N: For all you literal people: Abby and Jaden's personal information including the names ARE NOT REAL! Our names are not Abby or Jaden although they will represent us PERSONALITY- WISE ONLY!)

Chapter 1: The First Day: Sorting of Dorms

On the morning of September 3rd, this day was no ordinary, Watch-Oprah-While-Drinking-Coke day; this was the day that the Konoha High School started its first day of term. In an apartment, probably five blocks from this academy, lives our favorite hyperactive, knuckle-headed, blonde, moron, himself. That's right peoples! It's the home of Naruto Uzumaki!

"AUUGGHHH!!!" An appropriate response for the first day of school…

"I'm going to be late!" screamed Naruto, managing to wolf down an entire bowl of ramen in his haste. Choking on it, he grabbed his bag with all of his things (A/N: This is a "live-in" high school) and sprints out the door. Realizing he's stark naked, he ran back inside, changed, and sprinted outside again to find Sasuke and Gaara, two of his friends, waiting for him.

"Dobe! Hurry up! You've already made us late as it is!" called Sasuke angrily.

"Gomen! Gomen!" Naruto cried, "I had a horrible morning! I almost ran out of my house naked!" Gaara snorted, but they continued their walk toward the college of doom, and met up with Neji, Shikamaru, and Jaden. Jaden was the "New Guy" on the block, he had a jet black hair, and a smirk that signed that he was "cocky." He had black cargo pants and black sleeveless shirt, he wasn't gothic, he had sparkling blue eyes that would make a girl either fall in love, or hit him for no reason. Naruto was wearing jeans, and an orange track jacket. Sasuke was wearing a black shirt with the Uchiha Fan on the back with denim shorts. Shikamaru was wearing a green turtle neck with a cloud in the corner with his normal brown pants. Neji was wearing a gray overshirt over a white muscle shirt and blue pants. Gaara was wearing a red fishnet shirt with his normal black pants.

Shikamaru was explaining the rules of the entry and sorting of dorms. "We all take an entry exam, and depending on your grade, you get into one of three dorms, they are: Red Dorm- for those who barely made it and have a bad grade, and can get expelled at anytime. Blue Dorm- which is for those who ace the exam but don't get at least a 90. Then, Black Dorm- for those who ace the exam and get over 90. This dorm is for the best of the best."

"Well we should get into the Black Dorm; that means you actually TRY Shikamaru." Jaden inferred to Shika, who never really felt like trying at all.

When everyone had taken their seats, the exam began. Jaden was asleep after 5 minutes, Shika was asleep after 1 second, Sasuke was asleep after 10 minutes, so was Neji, Gaara was asleep after 8 minutes, all had finished the exam with ease, Naruto had started to sweat actual bullets and had shot a random guy next to him, for all answers he wrote "I like pie" After all the tests were collected, the predicted score was listed like this:

Jaden Blaze – 100

Sasuke Uchiha – 100

Neji Hyuga – 100

Shikamaru Nara – 100

Gaara of the Desert – 100

Naruto Uzumaki – 0

Shikamaru gave a "WTF" face to Naruto "Well I didn't know any of the answers, so I just wrote "I like pie!"

Gaara shook his head "So now what?" Neji surprised him with an answer;

"We should sneak in to the computer room and change his answers before it is submitted for actual scoring!" Sasuke gave him a "Why?" look. Neji yet again answered; "So he can be in Black Dorm so we can pull pranks for this year without a hitch!"

This was a supplied with an "Oh…" from the rest of the group. So therefore, the first prank of the year was to change Naruto's answers. It would be easy since there was no security in the area, except for guards which were always asleep.

So on the first night, Jaden had already taken out, and mugged the guards, while Neji had gone in and changed the answers. Then they went back to their separate apartments. Neji had received a call from Shikamaru, "So, is the deed done?"

"Yeah, all done."

"See ya in the morning then… troublesome."

"See ya." Neji hung up, prepared for the next morning.

The Next Day 

Everyone gathered around the scoring chart, Sakura Haruno frowned slightly. This wasn't right… she knew Naruto, he would never get 100 in his life, but there it was. She sighed, looking at her own grade… "Not up to my usual standards." Her BFF Ino jumped next to her;

"How'd you do? I got 90 too."

"What about Temari, Tenten, Hinata, Amy, and Abby?" Sakura asked.

"90 too." Ino shrugged, "Not up to our usual standards." They joined their BFFs. "That means we're all in Blue Dorm!"

"YES!" Tenten, Amy, and Abby high-fived each other. Abby had blonde curly hair to about mid-neck and had blue eyes that would pierce your soul (According to Gaara's Journal, or Man-Diary) Amy had long blonde hair, a pink sleeveless shirt, and navy blue slim jeans, and blue eyes too.

"G-great!" whispered Hinata.

"This will be so cool! Same place, and same Dorm, like sisters in one big family." Amy exclaimed with a grin

Then a teacher, who was unmistakably recognized by his Bowl Cut hair, and ugly eyebrows, as Might Gai, stood on top of the pedestal, holding a HUGE list that was… roughly so long it reached all the way to the Cloud Village and back. He stood up, took a big breath and began to speak.

"Attention all youthful students! Before we begin, our principal, Tsunade, would like to speak a few words of wisdom!"

A blonde- haired woman who was mostly recognized by her HUGE boobs, stood up to speak.

"Good morning everyone! I'm Tsunade, your principal, before I begin explaining our opening speech… MY EYES ARE UP HERE!!!" She was implying to the students staring at her boobs. "Now, we all may have heard that from last year, many of our staff had suffered many casualties from students that were "good-natured."

One student called out, "Like when a few guys stole the janitor's wallet and clothes!"

Another girl cried out, "Or when a few girls replaced the biology chemicals with alcohol for the King Cobra projects!"

"Or when a few first years put rat poison in the staff coffee machines!" another guy yelled out.

Tsunade continued to speak "Yes, yes, that was funny, but this year, we all have good intentions, and we now have new coffee machines for that. When Gai calls your name, he will name your score in front of everyone and intentionally embarrass you for no reason, and name your new Dorm. Finally I hope for two things: one: that we don't use up all the donuts and Neosporin **tm, **and two: I hope we can make through the year without having to call the S.W.A.T. team!" The students began laughing at the last remark. Gai once again got up and took out the huge list, and began to name off a few names.

"First off, we have…

Shino Aburame - 40 - Red Dorm!

Chouji Akimichi- 20 - Red Dorm!

Abby Blaze – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Jaden Blaze – 100 - Black Dorm!

Sakura Haruno – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Hinata Hyuga – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Neji Hyuga – 100 - Black Dorm!

Kiba Inuzuka – 0 - Red Dorm!

Shikamaru Nara – 100 - Black Dorm!

Gai continues this name with tears… "I'm so sorry to say this one, Rock Lee – 59 - Red Dorm!" Gai blubbered still and used Tsunade as a tissue. Lee jumped from the crowd;

"Gai-sensei!!!" he screamed

"Lee!!!" Gai bellowed out as he jumped off the podium.

"Gai-sensei!!!"

"Lee!!!!"

"Gai-sensei!!!!"

"Lee!!!!"

They hugged with a cheap sunset which was made of cardboard and sexy music in the background. Gai got back up and continued with his names.

Gaara no Subaku – 100 - Black Dorm!

Kankuro no Subaku – 0 - Red Dorm!

Temari no Subaku – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Amy Tatsuki – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Tenten – 90 - Blue Dorm!

Sasuke Uchiha – 100 - Black Dorm!

Naruto Uzumaki - 100 - Black Dorm!

A few people gasped at this point. Naruto…? 100...? It just wasn't possible! He went from a major dunce with Fs in every class, to a star student with a 100, in one summer?! It was a miracle he even got accepted to this esteemed college, (A/N: Yeah… right... esteemed?) but to get 100 on an extremely difficult test?! If they weren't young and healthy teenagers, one would think they had a heart attack! The boy in question was standing there with his friends, all of them smirking, at the astounded looks on the faces of those around them. Gai continued;

"and Ino Yamanaka – 90 - Blue Dorm!"

Gai promptly stepped of the podium and began to walk off. Tsunade looked confused for a moment, but then began to chase after him. "Gai!" she screamed, "You forgot the other 1436 students!"

Three hours later after all the names had been said and done, the students were left to chat amongst themselves. Abby stomped over to Jaden with a scary look that would make Itachi, Orochimaru, and Kisame pee in their pants.

"Jaden Yuki Blaze!!! You cheated didn't you!?"

"Uhhh….no?"

"Then why do you have the answer book in your bag that says "Property of Jaden, do not touch except for Jaden?"

"That's a typo."

"You also changed Naruto's answers, because there is no way in hell that Naruto gets 100"

"No, that was Neji."

"But now the guards have no clothes and wallets because you mugged them."

"No, that was Gaara."

"Hey, you were the one who said that you could do it better!" yelled Gaara from the background.

Abby continued, "Why did you come home with bloody knuckles?"

"Ummmm……"

"Well, don't come crying to me when you get in trouble, you're on your own." Abby responded, walking off before Jaden could come up with a snappy comeback.

Jaden sighed, "Who said I would come crying to her? I would mostly be crying to Neji."

Neji spun around, "What?"

"Nothing, Nothing!"

The guys moved up the stairs to the new dorm room. It was HUGE!!!! It had a giant screen TV, a hot tub, a big kitchen, and 6 king size beds.

After getting settled in, they came up with their plans for the school year.

Sasuke started it off "Ok, first, cause havoc."

Naruto comes up with number 2 "Then, get girlfriends."

Neji comes up with number 3 "Turn good girls and guys into bad girls and guys"

Gaara finds number 4 "Teach people you can pull pranks and still get good grades."

Jaden had number 5 "World Domination!"

Shikamaru gave a dumb look, "World Domination?"

Jaden quickly responded "Sorry, uh, typo." "Mental Note: Shikamaru knows too much." Jaden thought to himself.

Finally, Shika gives number 6, "Finally, destroy the teachers' lives."

"Hey cool!" Naruto shouted, "We even have a mailbox! And… Hey! There's something in it!"

He pulled out 6 sheets of paper. All of which had fancy cursive writing.

Sasuke stared at his paper, "Hey! These are schedules!"

Gaara gave him a confused look, "When did we sign up for classes?"

For 20 minutes there was the sound of our 6 heroes, a sound of great, eternal wisdom: Cricket… Cricket… Cricket…. Cricket… (This sentence is dedicated to our cousin!!!) Neji answered with a shrug;

"No idea, in some other life, I guess?"

"I think I just filled in some random ones." Gaara said nonchalantly.

"Well, what's your schedule look like Sasuke?" Naruto asked eagerly.

He answered, "Well, first I have;

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Free Period

English – Iruka – 306

Science – Kakashi – 103

Fire: It's Uses and It's Art – Itachi – 212

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

"Poor Sasuke!" cried Jaden through tears of laughter, "He has to sit through parenting classes during last period!"

But their laughter was soon cut short by Sasuke's scream of rage and anguish.

"Wh-what's wrong Sasuke?" asked a surprised Shikamaru

"I-Itachi is my teacher for two classes!"

That brought about a hushed silence from the group. ITACH!????!!!

"But isn't he an axe murderer?!" was Neji's shocked retort.

"It's just your bad luck that you got him as a teacher. When did he get out of prison?" said Gaara in an almost conversational tone.

Shikamaru replied "Broke out I suspect."

Jaden's incredulous tone brought about the question that had been plaguing everyone's mind: "What kind of school is this?!"

"Well," said Naruto nervously, trying to lighten the mood, "what about your schedules guys? I have;"

English – Iruka – 306

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Leadership – Sarutobi – 507

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Science – Kakashi – 103

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

"Well, you guys have it easy; at least we have the same lunch period." Jaden moped. "I got…"

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Science – Kakashi – 103

Culinary Arts – Chouza - 311

English – Iruka – 306

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

"Dude, what are you talking about? Yours is a cake walk!" Neji exclaims, "Mine is a real killer…"

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

English – Iruka – 306

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Science – Kakashi – 103

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

Gaara looked dumbfounded, "Neji, your schedule is so easy, Kiba could understand it. Mine is a real hassle."

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Art: Express your Feelings – Diedara – 703

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Free Period

Science – Kakashi – 103

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

English – Iruka – 306

Shikamaru looked at his friends; He knew they were going to force him to show them his schedule, so he did while muttering "Troublesome…"

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Science – Kakashi – 103

English – Iruka – 306

Free Period

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

How to Bring Home the Bread: Running a Household – Baki – 506

The guys packed up the schedules and took a sigh of relief. They then changed into their PJ's and climbed into bed, prepared for the next day.

TBC

Boneyboy: What's wrong with Curleyblue nee-chan?

Gaara: Brain overloaded thinking up these schedules.

Gai: 13 PAGE CHAPPIE!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!

Lee: WHY, YOU ASK!!!!!?????

Boneyboy and Torpedo Girl: Cause We're Torpedoes!!!


	2. The Other Dorms

Boneyboy: Hey guys! Good news!! We got 4 reviews on the first 2 days of Horrors of High School's first chappie!!! They were good reviews too!!!

Curleyblue: WOOHOO!!!! By request we (Boneyboy) have added LEETEMA.

Neji: Fate shines upon us again!!!

Hinata: G-G-Great!!

Itan: I'm back!! Great job!!

Gai and Lee move to hug Itan

Itan: Get away freaks!!

Itan kills them with pepper spray.

Boneyboy: Alright, Gaara, disclaimer!

Gaara: Boneyboy-sama, Curleyblue-chan, and Itan-san, don't own Naruto, or its pairings, or Raid, but they own the OC's.

Chapter 2: The Other Dorms

The Blue Dorms looked like a normal apartment. Inside one dorm, which was the only for the highest in Blue Dorm, 7 girls squealed with delight over their new schedules, well, actually 6, Tenten was screaming because she was high on Pixie Stix™.

Abby was exclaiming over her new schedule, "This is so cool!! Check it out!"

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Art: Express your Feelings – Diedara – 703

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Ancient Literature & Ancient Civilizations – Kurenai – 682

Lunch – Cafetorium

Equine Studies – Anko – 870

Science – Kakashi – 103

English – Iruka – 306

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

Temari shrugged, "Mine isn't too great."

Science – Kakashi – 103

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

English – Iruka – 306

Free Period

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

"Look at mine! Look at mine! Look at mine!!" Ino squealed, putting her schedule on the table.

English – Iruka – 306

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

Flowers: Art and Beauty – Kurenai – 509

Science – Kakashi – 103

Amy smirked, "You think yours is awesome? Look at mine!"

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Culinary Arts – Chouza – 311

English – Iruka – 306

Free Period

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Science – Kakashi – 103

Sakura shouted, "My turn! My turn!"

Science – Kakashi – 103

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Free Period

Revenge: How Sweet it is – Itachi – 607

Lunch – Cafetorium

English – Iruka – 306

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Fire: It's Uses and It's Art – Itachi – 212

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

"MINENEXT!!!MINENEXT!!!" Tenten screamed. (A/N: For those who did not get it, she said, "Mine Next!!! Mine Next!!!")

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Lunch – Cafetorium

Metalworking – Kakashi - 957

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Science – Kakashi – 103

English – Iruka – 306

Fire: It's Uses and It's Art – Itachi – 212

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

"I-I guess I'm n-n-next." Hinata said, shrugging, "M-mine's o-okay…"

English – Iruka – 306

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Mommy: Caring for Baby – Tsunade – 659

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Lunch – Cafetorium

Leadership – Sarutobi – 507

Physical Education for Women – Anko – Gym

Home Economics – Shizune – 578

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Flowers: Art and Beauty – Kurenai – 509

Science – Kakashi – 103

"THISISSOAWESOMEI'MGONNAGOGETMOREPIXIESTIX™!!!" Tenten half-screamed, half-shouted. (A/N: For those who don't know what she said, she said: This is so awesome! I'm gonna go get more Pixie Stix™! Yeah, she's obsessed with those…)

Two hours later Tenten returned with a box of 500. "It's for the rest of the school year!" she later complained as the other ladies wrestled it out of her grip.

"Yeah, right. Knowing Tenten, those'll be gone by the end of next week!" Ino snickered to Temari who had just put them in the mini-pantry.

Ending the night on a good note, each girl unpacked diligently, and then collapsed on each individual, queen-sized bed, drifting off in a deep sleep filled with absolutely no worries.

About 4 Hours Earlier 

The Red Dorms looked like a boot camp cabin. In one small cabin, 5 boys were groaning in horror over two things: One: the futons were twin sized and there was only three (Thank god for sleeping bags!) and two: their schedules.

"Okay… 'Crunch'… Kiba and Kankuro… 'Munch'… since you guys got 0, you can sleep on the floor. The futons… 'Burp'… are for those who actually got a percentage." Chouji explained after thinking thoroughly.

"It is a youthful thing you brought sleeping bags!" Lee inferred to Shino

"…" was Shino's reply.

"Hey Shino…" Kankuro mused, "Why didn't you do well on your test? I never pegged you as a stupid person…"

Kiba stood in for Shino, knowing that Shino probably wouldn't say anything, "He did it as a favor to me, so we could hang out together! Because Shino is a good guy, he won't get expelled!"

"Now how about those schedules?" Lee said ecstatically "I've got…"

Science – Kakashi – 103

Taijutsu: Martial Arts – Gai – Sub Gym

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Lunch – Cafetorium

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Culinary Arts – Chouza - 311

How to get an A+ on an Exam: For Morons – Hiashi - Janitor's Closet

English – Iruka – 306

Free Period

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Chouji said happily, "Look at mine!"

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

English – Iruka – 306

Free Period

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Lunch – Cafetorium

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Culinary Arts – Chouza - 311

How to get an A+ on an Exam: For Morons – Hiashi - Janitor's Closet

Free Period

Science – Kakashi – 103

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

"You got TWO free periods?!" shouted the others.

"Yep." Chouji answered nonchalantly, "I only chose one optional class, so they gave me two free periods."

"Oh…"

"My turn…" said Kiba sounding almost bored.

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

English – Iruka – 306

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Lunch – Cafetorium

Free Period

Science – Kakashi – 103

How to get an A+ on an Exam: For Morons – Hiashi - Janitor's Closet

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Free Period

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

Kiba, knowing Shino wouldn't say anything, read aloud his schedule;

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

Nature: It's Beauty – Zetsu – Courtyard

Science – Kakashi – 103

Lunch – Cafetorium

English – Iruka – 306

How to get an A+ on an Exam: For Morons – Hiashi - Janitor's Closet

Free Period

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Free Period

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

"So, I'm last huh?" Kankuro sighed, "Well I've got…"

Puppets: Not Just a Game – Sasori – 603

Algebra Part 10 – Kisame – 254

Dads: How to Take Care of the Kids when Mom's Away – Iruka - 425

Free Period

Lunch – Cafetorium

Science – Kakashi – 103

How to get an A+ on an Exam: For Morons – Hiashi - Janitor's Closet

Free Period

English – Iruka – 306

Physical Education of Youth – Gai – Gym

American History Part 4000 – Asuma – 301

"So this is it." Lee said in awe as each boy got into their bed or sleeping bag. "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives."

Needless to say the men didn't sleep well that night…

TBC

Curleyblue: People who have read this so far asked me why I had to think up individualized schedules for everybody. I'll tell you why! It is so unrealistic for people to have the exact same schedule! Schools actually go out of their way not to do that! If you don't, the story kinda loses some reality within the fiction. But unfortunately my brain still hurts.

Boneyboy: The Next Chapter will get better we assure you!

Itan: We're gonna get to the classes!

Gai: PLEASE REVIEW!! NO FLAMING!!!!

Lee: AND WHY MUST YOU REVIEW!!!???

Boneyboy and Torpedo Girl: CAUSE WE'RE TORPEDOES!!!

Curleyblue and Itan: Bakas…


	3. What the F!

Curleyblue: For those who are currently reading Horrors of High School; PLEASE READ THIS! From Chapter 3 onward, we are about to get VERY RANDOM! Not super random like somebody all of a sudden shooting everyone with a machine gun, but random enough to have some people complain that it's TOO random. For example, all the teachers except for Gai are professional magicians! Those who were expecting a serious High School fic are not about to get one. So you may continue reading if you want to pee in your pants. If you do, there is absolutely NO flaming on the fact that it is TOO RANDOM! You have been forewarned. Arigato!!!

Gaara: They don't own anything except for the OCs

Boneyboy: I didn't get to say anything… Boohoo…

Chapter 3: What the F!!!!

The girls wake up, reluctantly to the sound of their buzzing alarm clocks. A few seconds later, a fist that belonged to Amy, smashed the offending alarm clock. Hinata, who had been up since four, due to her family's unnatural ability to wake up as soon as the sun rises, went to get the mail.

The other six girls went into the kitchen. Tenten had already proceeded to try and make pancakes.

Hinata walked back in, "G-guys you h-h-have to see t-this! T-t-this school r-really _is_ c-c-crazy!"

But, before the girls could come and see the brochures that Hinata had brought in for them, Tenten asked a puzzling question,

"Is the batter supposed to be boiling?"

Temari, Sakura, and Ino crowded around Tenten's "batter"

Abby asked tentatively, "Are you sure it's not just bubbling? Sometimes it does that when the heat creates bubbles, it's normal."

"I don't think it's supposed to be lime green either…" said Amy, only managing to catch a glimpse of the said batter.

Temari shook her head and Sakura looked like she was going to puke. Ino summed it up, "I think it really is…"

The dorms around this particular blue dorm, later said that they thought an atomic bomb had gone off in Blue Dorm 8, and that it was very frightening to see a green _something _ooze out from underneath the door. It could even be heard in the building around the corner, otherwise known as Black Dorm.

"Holy #$&" screamed Sasuke having just finished breakfast and laughing over the brochure.

"What was that? An atomic bomb?" Gaara wondered aloud as Jaden wriggled in excitement.

"I sure would like to know what happened in there!" he cried happily.

Neji added "It sounds like it was coming from Blue Dorm."

"Hey Naruto, do you still have those Extendable Ears™ from that Harry Potter Convention?" Shikamaru asked lazily.

"Yeah, sure, right here."

Naruto began to listen to Blue Dorm 8, "Hey! I think that's your cousin, Neji, What's-her-name! And Jaden's onee-chan, What's-her-name!

"Really?! Their dorm exploded?! Cool!" echoed the others, all swooping down to listen as well.

"Tenten… next time, let Amy cook, _she's _good at it!" grumbled Sakura, plucking off a piece of thick green batter from her hair.

"Gomen naisai, guys." cried Tenten, bowing her head, "How much time do we have left? I'll clean it up."

Ino, who looked like she was trying to hold in her laughter, said with difficulty, "We have half an hour. Tenten, you don't have to clean it, that's why they hired a janitor!"

After eating two breakfast bars each, the girls went into the bedroom to quickly change, each girl wore their normal clothes. (A/N: Except for special occasions, each character will wear the same thing as last time.) Sakura wore a hot pink long-sleeved shirt with baggy jeans which, surprisingly, she was the only girl that still managed to look good in them. Amy was wearing what she wore in Chapter 1. Ino was wearing a dark purple short-sleeved shirt with a denim mini-skirt. Tenten wore a crimson Chinese- style sleeveless with dragon design with deep gold gauchos. Temari wore a lavender long-sleeved shirt, with loose sleeves, with a butterfly design and tan shorts. Abby was wearing her dusty blue hoodie, which wasn't baggy, with a sideways white crescent, forming a smile-like shape, on her chest. (A/N: Yeah, it's kinda confusing to describe.) She also wore gray camouflage capris. Hinata was wearing a light blue sleeveless shirt with white jeans.

"Well, we still have 20 minutes." said Temari, "Hinata, why don't you show us those brochures?"

Hinata handed them out and each girl proceeded to read the brochure, and the school's "fine" history.

Sakura read aloud, "This school was created in 1802 by a wealthy Russian man named Isays Souss. (A/N: If you read it right and aloud, it says "I say so") His favorite hobby was torturing children; he built this school as to be a torture chamber so students would die in the halls trying to get to class." Sakura flipped the page, "Hey look! There's a map too!"

Looks of shock were soon followed from one glance to the map. The school had only 3 wide hallways, probably because class choices were slim or the classes were illegal. Each class was randomly numbered, for example, the first classroom was room 103, then next door was room 212. It was a good thing the rooms were big. They had only three bathrooms, and had 6 entrances. One was the Main Entrance, three of the entrances were dorm entrances, one was to the fenced field, and another was to the courtyard.

After shaking their heads in confusion, the girls turned the page to find a paragraph on the teachers.

_Due to our lack of budget, and "Ripping off Teachers" plan by Tsunade-sama, we hire only "Special" teachers, every teacher, except for two, are professional magicians! So they can be in two places at once, and Tsunade-sama only has to pay for half!_ _The only two teachers who are not magicians, are Might Gai, and his twin brother, Might Gai. The only way you can tell them apart is that the one in the Sub Gym, that teaches Taijutsu, has a missing tooth._

The girls look up from the brochure, creeped out from what they had just read for life. The girls just well… walked out, prepared to face the first class.

TBC

Boneyboy: Sorry, we didn't get into the class!!! We thought the next chappie should be dedicated to the classes. We can't update from August 4th to August 27th due to the fact that Curleyblue has to go to another state for intensive physical therapy.

Gai and Lee: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!

Boneyboy, Softon, and Torpedo Girl: Cause' we're Torpedoes!!!!

Curleyblue: I didn't get to say anything! Crap!!


	4. The First Classes! Oh Joy!

Boneyboy: We're back for another update!!!

Gaara is still sobbing, so much, that he was crying the pacific.

Gaara: I MISS CURLEYBLUE-CHAN!!!!!

Kakashi: He's still crying, he must miss Curleyblue…

Boneyboy: Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious…

Neji: Boneyboy, you have a phone call from a Ms. Amy-chan.

Boneyboy: Oh! My new girlfriend! (In real life, I don't have a girlfriend yet.)

Neji: You have a girlfriend?

Boneyboy: Yes, you'll see her at the end of the chappie!

Torpedo Girl: You better know our disclaimer because, I'm a torpedo!!

Chapter 4: First day of class, oh Joy!

The guys, who had gotten bored with the fact that the Blue Dorm blew up, had gotten dressed in the same clothes as in Chapter 1, left the dorms. The first day had begun, students rushed to classes, the bell rang incessantly, and one kid dyed of dehydration, after getting lost.

The day for the guys, girls, and geeks had started well, none of them died in the halls. The first class to observe was American History Part 4000. As everyone walked in, there stood besides his desk was the teacher, Asuma, he was smoking 16 cigarettes and 16 cigars. He was also wearing nicotine patches all over his body.

He began to speak, "Good morning you little demons-I-I mean wonderful children." He greeted while wearing a "geeky" smile on his face. "I'm Asuma, you teacher. Please find a seat, and don't mind the room conditions…" As he said this sentence, a kid began to make a noise while holding his throat. "HACK!!! COUGH!!" He then fell to the ground and died of suffocation. As the paramedics took him away, Asuma groaned, "Geez, everytime someone enters, they die after 5 milliseconds! Then the paramedics show up and sue me later on!" While he was rambling about his results after he would be sued, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Jaden whispered among themselves,

"Guys, what do you think of this guy, I say he's had way too much time avoiding rehab." Shika whispered.

Sasuke had brought up the question that plagued all the kids' minds, "How does anyone survive this class?" They both looked at Jaden, who was wearing a gas mask.

Shika took off the mask, "Put that away!"

Jaden commented, "Well, the kid who died was nerd anyway."

Meanwhile in a nearby corner, Amy was staring off into space, _"Isn't that guy with the flame hairdo, Abby's brother? Wonder what's his name is? Abby never mentioned it…" _

Just then, the rehab doctors came in. "All right, we found you Asuma Sarutobi, Alias: The Smokey Bandit, A.K.A. "Ahole Asuma," 5'7", 178 lbs, Wanted in 9 different country rehabs, and insane asylums, with 50 previous attempts for your capture.

Asuma made a break for it and jumped out the window, "You'll never catch me alive, coppers!!!" The Rehab guys just looked out and saw Asuma falling into the dumpster below.

Shikamaru looked at Sasuke and Jaden, "See? I told ya!"

The next class to observe was Algebra Part 10. The class shuffled in (A/N: I'll remind you all when we change a period, this is still Period 1) and out from a "desk" that was really a fish tank popped out the teacher, Kisame Hoshigaki, He was, as many of us know, a shark with really bad fashion taste, his room was full of beach stuff, and a few dead sushi chefs.

He stood up to speak, "Good mor'n, class, I'm the teacher, Kisame Hoshigaki, yes, I know that I'm a shark, and if you get in trouble, I'll eat you. For example…" He walked over to the most talkative kid, and ate her. After that, the class shut up, but then a bunch of sushi chefs barged in, they spoke in Japanese, but a kid translated it as, "Finally! Big talking spicy shark roll and sushi rice!"

Kisame looked horrified and began running around in a circle, with sushi chefs following him. While Kisame was going to be wrapped in seaweed, Neji and Gaara talked to each other.

"This guy is crazy! Who gets turned into sushi for a living anyway?" Neji exclaimed. Gaara shrugged, "He does look good in tartar sauce though…" Neji hit Gaara upside his head. "Neji! He does look good! Maybe with sesame balls and rice crackers…"

The class ended early due to the fact Kisame was now served with liquor. Yum!

TBC

Boneyboy: I'm stopping here, more first period classes next chappie!

Curleyblue comes inside.

Gaara runs at the speed of light: CURLEYBLUE-CHAN!!!!

Curleyblue: I'm back! I missed you Gaara-kun! Oh yeah, Amy-chan is here!

Boneyboy: Good, so now, we can proceed without a hitch! I'm coming Amy-chan!

Gai: REVIEW!!!!!!!

Lee: WHY MUST YOU DO SO!!!!???

Boneyboy, Softon, and Torpedo Girl: Cause we're Torpedoes!!

Gaara and Curleyblue: --'


	5. More First Day Classes!

Boneyboy: We're back! Now that Gaara is sane again, we'll continue, and at the end, there's a big surprise!!

Curleyblue: Why is there always a surprise at the end?

Boneyboy: I dunno…

Torpedo Girl: Is the surprise that I'm getting married to Softon??!!!

Boneyboy: Torpedo Girl, you're already married to Softon, but you're close. It's a wedding.

Gaara: Boneyboy-sama and Curleyblue-chan don't own Naruto or anything else in this fic that may not belong to them, and no, this is not my wedding.

Chapter 5: More First day classes! B-E-A-Utiful!!

Our next class to observe is English, The same thing happens; kids come in, the teacher, Iruka Umino, introduces himself, Then he talks about the class rules, and his life story, Ino and Hinata were chatting with each other.

"Hey Hinata, isn't that Naruto?"

"N-Neji-niisan's friend? Yes…"

"Do you think it's possible for him to get 100?"

"W-well N-Naruto has always been s-strong- w-w-willed."

"I doubt even with all that willpower he'd get 100."

Iruka reprimanded them, "Girls, be quiet, I'm just getting to the part where I downed a girl in the backseat of my car in senior year."

"Gomen, sensei…" Ino said sheepishly.

5 minutes later, he concluded his story with when he drove to work today. Unfortunately, one of his students had literally died of boredom.

"Today," Iruka continued, "we're going to write haiku…"

"Did someone call me?" said Haku stepping into the classroom.

"No Haku, I said haiku…. HAKU?! Aren't you supposed to be dead?!" Iruka screamed, about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Just because Tsunade-sama set me on fire because she was told to fire some teachers…doesn't mean I can't visit! YOU MEANIE!!" bawled Haku, sprinting out of the room.

"I'm going back to heaven; Zabuza-kun will appreciate me!" Haku called tearfully, before disappearing in a flash of white light.

After 5 minutes, the kids start to share their haiku. Ino went first, being the first to jump out of her chair, waving her hand like a maniac.

_I'm so beautiful_

_Nobody can be better_

_All the guys want me_

Hinata was next; she got up and read without stuttering, although she almost fainted.

_Why must you hate me?_

_Please save me from my dark soul_

_Let me see the light_

One kid, who had serious issues, was frightened, and he had a panic attack, and jumped out the window, screaming that it was too emo. Naruto went up next,

_I like apple pie_

_Oh so good and apple-ish_

_Boobs look like apples!_

All the girls in the room took out sharp scissors and threw them at Naruto. He panicked, "Well, I hate to run with scissors… but oh well!" He ran right out the door.

Outside the classroom, one of the vice principals, Jiraiya, was making his rounds towards the girls locker room. Naruto ran right past him, spinning Jiraiya around like in Saturday morning cartoons, Jiraiya just kept walking, little did he know of the fact, that a sign was taped to his back, reading "Pull down my pants!"

At that moment, the bell rang, and Naruto jumped, remembering something important.

"I forgot my books!"

He sprinted back towards the classroom, thanking God that he didn't have homework. He reached the door and swung it inward, crushing a girl's skull and pinning her to the wall. He lunged towards his books, not noticing that two girls were in front of him. He instantly collided with one, her books flying from her arms as they both hit the floor.

"Naruto!" Ino screamed at him, "Watch where you're going! You just knocked over Hinata!"

Naruto shook his head, trying to clear it from its fog, "Ouch. Oh! I'm so sorry lady! Here…"

Together both girl and boy collected her books. Naruto straightened up and extended a hand to Hinata, which she took gratefully.

"Oh, you're that girl with the dark and depressing haiku! Hinata, is it?" Naruto exclaimed flashing his trademark foxy grin.

"H-Hai…" she mumbled, immediately flushing in embarrassment. All she did was write how her feelings were! Now everybody was laughing at her because she wrote about how her family especially her father, despised and abused her psychologically because she wasn't smart enough, or strong enough to lead her family who happened to be very powerful government officials.

Naruto replied, "I'm sorry again Hinata, hopefully you aren't bruised too badly. See you around! By the way, that was really good haiku!"

Hinata responded with an even bigger blush. Ino snorted as Naruto grabbed his books and trotted off, "Jerk, he calls that an apology?! No wonder, he's supposed to be one of those bad boys, but he's too dumb."

"T-then why was he s-s-so n-nice to m-me?" Hinata wondered aloud, as both walked off.

Iruka, who had watched this scene in the background, smirked, thinking of ways he could play matchmaker, heard Kakashi walk in.

Kakashi leaned against the doorframe. "Aren't you going to get rid of that?" he asked pointing to the body in the wall, which, due to the room conditions, had already rotted to a skeleton.

"It matches the room décor." Iruka responded pointing to the ceiling. It was filled with the skeletons of students over the years, who had hung themselves. "These two are brand new!" he continued, pointing to the one in the wall, and the one on the far left piece of ceiling.

"You gave them your life's story, didn't you?" Kakashi said dryly.

"I think they liked it!" said Iruka brightly, "By the way, shouldn't you be teaching class?"

"Hello?! Magician! I am teaching class. I'm also getting coffee. And some aspirin…"

"See you around then."

"Bye."

Speaking of class, Kakashi's 1st Period didn't go so well either…

Twenty Minutes Earlier… Give or Take Ten Minutes 

Temari and Sakura sighed with impatience, their teacher was extremely late.

"Sigh once more and I'll punch you two!" glared Rock Lee losing his youthful cool.

"Shut up geek!" snapped Temari and Sakura, being bad girls themselves, along with Ino and Amy.

Suddenly the door opened and Kakashi stepped in.

Almost immediately, paper airplanes dropped to the floor, iPods™ and cellphones were stowed away, and one girl got off a boy's lap, thoroughly disappointed.

"Good Morning class! I'm Kakashi-sensei, your teacher! Since we have only ten minutes, we'll do an experiment.

"But you haven't taught us any safety procedures!" Sakura stated, "That could be dangerous! Baka!"

"Shut up!" said Kakashi, still smiling. "Now I need a volunteer… ah yes, Nicky, come up to the front."

The boy cautiously came up to the front, "What do I do?" he asked.

"Well, you put these two chemicals into this blender and turn it on while the rest of the class and I get behind these protective lead shields." Kakashi answered.

Nicky did as told while everybody else cowered behind the shields. Suddenly…BOOM!

Kakashi peered around the shield. Nicky was dead, as his head was blown off.

"We're gonna need another Nicky!" he cried as the bell rang.

The class sprinted out the door. "We're of to 2nd Period!" Sakura cried.

"Oh joy..." Temari answered sarcastically as they sprinted down the hall.

TBC

Curleyblue and Boneyboy: Sorry for the long update! We started school and have been very busy!

Boneyboy: Now for the surprise!

Wedding music starts as Tenten walks down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown.

Curleyblue (starts crying): Ain't young love wunnerful?

Boneyboy (priest): Whatever

Neji is already at the altar and ogling Tenten.

Boneyboy: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here…oh, what the heck. Neji, do you?

Neji: I do.

Boneyboy: Tenten, do you?

Tenten: I do.

Boneyboy: You may now kiss the bride.

And they do.

After an hour of partying, Neji and Tenten leave for their honeymoon and Curleyblue is still crying.

Curleyblue: I love happy ever afters!

Gai: REVIEW AND NO FLAMES!

Lee: WHY MUST THEY?!

Boneyboy and Torpedo Girl: Cause we're Torpedoes!

Curleyblue and Itan: Bakas…


	6. The Gai Chapter Part 1

Boneyboy: We're back!!! Curleyblue-nee-chan is out shopping, so I'll be here for this chappie.

Softon: Oi, Boneyboy, those guys you wanted to see are here.

Boneyboy: Send them in then.

Espio, Charmy, Vector, Deadpool, Nightcrawler, and Omega walk in.

Boneyboy: Now that we're all here, time to start the chappie!! Now Omega will do the disclaimer.

Omega: Boneyboy and Curleyblue do not own any of the stuff they may not own, like Naruto.

Chapter 6: The Gai Chapter; Crazy Neji on Sugar

(A/N: This is now period 2!)

The second period started with the Taijutsu: Martial Arts, with the Twin Gai. The students put on their new gi, which surprisingly, were not green spandex suits. The "Sensei," Twin Gai, stood in front of the class,

"All right my youthful class! This is our class rules! Listed here on this paper!" The paper was written in Gai's very poor handwriting and it was a miracle that everyone was able to read it, but then again, most of the students didn't know how to read.

There are ways you can go up in belt ranks,

You can participate in class

You can follow the three S's: Shut up, Sit down, and Start paying attention!!!

Or you can preach about youth in your free time.

If you are too emo to do these tasks, you can pass a certain task to earn belts.

The belt colors go like this: (A/N: We only know very little on belts, so no flaming because of this, and please tell us if you know anything about this in your review.)

White: You're the lowest of low, you moron!!

Yellow: You're an amateur, so keep going on.

Green: You're not bad, but it could be better…

Orange: You're pretty good, but not good enough.

Purple: You're great! Keep up the good work!

Brown: You're an elite fighter, but still can't beat the master

Black: You're the Best of the Best!!

There are two types of gi's:

White: This is the gi you are currently wearing, you're just normal…

Bright Neon Green Spandex: This suit means you are one of my "Nice Guys!!" You have full access to my office and all my personal and sexual love life secrets!

Jaden looks at Neji, "We have to get those gi's" Neji gave him a "WTF" look. "Dude, no one is going to look at us twice if we are seen in those!" Then Gai shouted,

"All right you youthful scum!! This is how we are to decide who gets a green gi or a black belt; you are to fight me in pairs!!!" Gai grabbed Neji on the arm and dragged him. "Come my blind friend!"

Neji yelled, "I'M NOT BLIND, YOU #$& GAY CROSSDRESSING !#$&" as he flips Gai the bird. Hinata was shocked by this sudden outburst. Jaden however, was not. Neji cursed a lot normally, but never had he raised his voice, so much that Kakashi came in running,

"WHERE'S THE HOOKER!?" Kakashi cried. He looked around and saw no one. "Shit!! I wish that it was Anko…" He walked out and stole Gai's wallet.

Jaden looked at Neji slyly, "Did you get that on tape?" Neji took out a recorder and nodded affirmative. Gai then throws Neji over to Tenten.

"You are to work with this beautiful flower of youth, my blind friend!" Neji yells again,

"I'm not blind!!!" giving Gai the finger again.

Tenten also yells, "I'm not a flower!!!" also giving Gai the finger. (A/N: Wow, everyone is fingering each other today!) Gai grabs Jaden by his arm,

"And you, flame-headed weirdo!!" Jaden spun around, "What'd you call me!?"

Gai continued, "You can work with my youthful Lee!!"

Lee walks over to Jaden, "Let's do our best then,"

Jaden looked exhausted. "Is he always like this?"

Lee gave a skeptical look, "Yeah, He's cool, but he is a bit eccentric…"

"And you my other blind friend!!" Gai continues.

"I-I'm not b-b-blind…" Hinata murmured.

"What was that? Nevermind." said Gai, pointing towards the corner, "You can go work with that gothic, perverted-looking, rapist!"

Hinata glanced nervously towards the corner and Neji glares at the guy, reminding himself to keep a close eye on him.

"Now, first to go is my male blind friend and the youthful flower!"

"I'm not blind/a flower!"

Cautiously, Neji and Tenten approached Gai getting into their individual positions.

Gai leaped into the air, "DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

Tenten leaped to the left, Neji leaped to the right. In unison, they both aimed punches towards Gai's head. Gai ducked and tried to trip them with a leg sweep. Both jumped upward as Neji aimed a kick at Gai's head again. It connected, sending Gai straight into Tenten's flying fist which also hit its mark. Gai rolled under Tenten, peeking as he rolled, being the pervert he is. Tenten then kicked Gai in the balls, which REALLY hurt like crap, man! Gai, in his gasps of extremely excruciating pain, called out, "OK, you're done; you'll get your gi and belt at the end. Now, flame-headed weirdo, and my youthful Lee!" Jaden and Lee Stood up in front of Gai, Lee got into his normal fighting stance, Jaden mimicked Lee, but he gave Gai the finger while doing it. (A/N: See, I told ya, everyone is giving everyone the finger today, weird huh?) Gai jumps to give a dynamic entry, "YOU DARE INSULT ME!!!!????" Neji and Tenten have a shock reaction,

"GEE, YOU JUST REALIZED THAT NOW!!??" Gai shouted as he zoomed past Neji and Tenten,

"YEEEESSSS!!" Just as Gai was about to hit Jaden, Jaden grabbed Gai's foot and Gai vibrated uncontrollably, Lee then gave Gai a good punch to the face.

Neji asked Jaden, "How'd you do that?"

Jaden opened his hand, "Joybuzzer."

"Where'd you get it?"

"Naruto's jokebook."

TBC

Curleyblue: Sorry!!! Boneyboy was so lazy!! We didn't update!

Gai and Lee: REVIEW!!!!

Torpedo Girl: Cause we're torpedoes!!


	7. The Gai Chapter, Neji on Sugar Part 2

Boneyboy: OK, I know we haven't updated in a while, but school is such a drag…

Softon: So we plan to finish the Gai Chapter in this chapter.

Deadpool: Boneyboy, didn't you have another announcement?

Boneyboy: Yes, Please review this chappie!!! This is important, If you like us to update more often, we need you to review, review get us psyched and get us typing, so please review, give us what we want, and we give you what you want!

Gaara: Boneyboy or Curleyblue don't own any of the stuff they may not own, like Naruto.

Chapter 7: The Gai Chapter. Neji on Sugar, Part 2.

Gai got up from his "shocking" development. His hair was super spiky, and electricity went sparking back and forth from his suit. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR???!!!"

Jaden replied with a very simple answer, "You never said no weapons."

Tenten whispered to Hinata, "Damn, I could've used my scimitar!" Hinata whispered back,

"T-Tenten-chan, why are you so o-obsessed with s-s-sharp, p-pointy objects that c-can be used as w-w-weapons?"

"For your _edification_, I have weapons like a staff which is not sharp or pointy. Anywho, I love them, and I need Pixie-Stix™!"

After some random battles, Gai called up, "My female blind friend and the rapist!" Trembling, Hinata got up and stood before Gai-sensei and the grinning rapist.

"GO! Hinata!" yelled Tenten at the top of her lungs, which made Neji wince, as he preferred the quiet.

Gai jumped yet again for another dynamic entry, by now this was becoming predictable, so Hinata just stepped to the side and Gai flew into a randomly placed paper shredder. Gai, now pieces of shredded paper, moved himself to the front of the class,

"Flame-headed weirdo! Both blind students! Youthful flower! Lee!" Jaden, Neji, Hinata, Tenten, and Lee came up to the front of the class, Gai held up and green gi, which was amazingly similar to the current gi.

Jaden was confused, "What is this?"

"Your gi!" Gai cried.

Tenten cocked her head to the side; looking puzzled, "I thought you said that we were getting the bright neon green spandex."

"I figured you guys wouldn't want it, so I just spray-painted your old ones green." Gai explained.

"Ah…"

"Now," Gai cried, "while I treat my wounds, you youthful students can talk quietly among yourselves and let your youthful energy flow!"

That finally got the class interested, immediately there was a low buzz of chatter.

Neji glanced around him, finding his dear cousin in considerable distress.

"P-please leave m-me a-a-alone." Hinata stammered, trying to edge away from the rapist dude.

The guy smirked, "And what happens if I don't?"

"Then you'll have to deal with me."

Both guy and girl wheeled around to find Neji glaring holes in the guy's head, "She said to leave her alone."

Now Neji was pretty intimidating, quiet, with eyes that are so precise and studious. When Neji was angry however, one doesn't stand a chance.

The guy backed off immediately.

"If you ever go near my cousin again, I will feel no regrets killing you."

The guy was gone in a flash.

Neji turned to Hinata again, "Have you had any other problems today? Anyone you need me to take care of?" It was a well known fact that before Hinata had made friends and even for a time afterward that Hinata was easily bullied, Neji, being Neji, was her protector. Now she had friends and didn't need his help as much, but it didn't stop Neji from being paranoid. That's when he noticed a bruise on her arm and interrogated her.

"W-well," Hinata stuttered, "your f-friend N-N-Naruto-san knocked me o-over. But i-it was an a-accide…" Before Hinata had time to finish, a shadow had spread over Neji's face and maniacal laughter issued from his lips.

Jaden, who was coming over to Neji about plans for a new prank, groaned, "Aww man! He must've gotten into the Pixie Stix™ this morning! Now that the sugar has finally reached his bloodstream, Naruto is a dead man!"

Tenten, hearing Jaden utter the name of her favorite candy, whirled around and shook him violently, "Where are my precious?! Give them to meeeee!"

"Geez, you crazy girl! I don't have whatever you want! Let me go!"

The fast footsteps of Neji propelled the crazed man through the adjourning door into Gai's gym class, which was suffering an equal amount of torture.

The class had started out normally, in the Gai sense, enough.

Gai started screaming, "ALL RIGHT!!!!! MY NAME'S GAI-SENSEI!!! NOW, I WANT YOU TO RUN 200 LAPS AT TOP SPEED OR YOU WILL GET 10 BOOK REPORTS EACH DAY FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!" The students began to run for their lives for 2 reasons, 1. Mad man-eating dogs were starting to chase them. 2. Wouldn't you be running if you were threatened with homework for the rest of the year?

Shikamaru and Naruto were running in the middle of the pack, running for their lives, the fear of homework bearing upon them. Suddenly they heard muttering, which sounded a lot like "Take over the school." Suddenly, the guy laughed evilly, out loud. Both Shikamaru and Naruto turned to face the boy. The guy looked to see the two looking at him. "What?"

"Dude, Ryu, was it? Are you okay?"

"Yes, absolutely fine, thanks for asking, nice to meet you, see ya." With that, Ryu whispered to one of the man-eating dogs, the dog attacked the torso of one of the kids in front of Ryu. Ryu jumped over the carcass of the dead kid and continued running.

By the end of the race, the only ones who made it were Ryu, Naruto and Shikamaru. Everyone else was eaten alive. Except for some kids who were saved by Gai's teeth blinding the dogs. Suddenly the doors from the sub-gym burst open, Neji ran in with a 'clearly not noticeable' murderous intent, charging with a master card, towards Naruto. The look on Naruto's face: priceless. Naruto was processing this information.

"Neji + Clearly not noticeable murderous intent look + Charging with a master card at me I'm screwed. I'm screwed + adrenaline rush, almost peeing it RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!!!!" Naruto began to run at near light speed.

Neji followed, screaming, "Come back here you #$&!" Finally Neji caught up and forced Naruto to the ground. "This is for knocking Hinata over!"

"Y-your cousin?! It was an accident! I apologized I swear!" Finally, Shikamaru came to the rescue, knocking Neji's head hard, realigning Neji's head to normal frequency.

At that moment, the bell rang and tragedy was averted…for now…

TBC

Curleyblue: Special shout-out to The Oriental Dragon or Ryu who has joined us in the craziness of this fic!

Gaara: Period 2 will continue in Chapter 8 where Abby and I show up!

Curleyblue: Finally, I show up!

Lee and Gai: PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Torpedo Girl: Why!?!?

Boneyboy: Cause we're torpedoes!


	8. Period 2 Again! Gaara's Idea of Art!

Boneyboy: SORRY!!! I'm lazy! Now we will update.

Kakashi: Oh, now you're doing this, you were-

(Kakashi is muffled by Boneyboy)

Boneyboy: And with that we'll start!

Gaara: Boneyboy and Curleyblue-chan don't own Naruto.

Chapter 8: Period 2… again! Gaara's idea of "Art and Fun!!"

Gaara sat in Room 703 debating on what would be the best way to cause havoc. Class hadn't started yet, but he was early. This classroom was weird enough, the front half of the room was covered in a black curtain and the door was splattered in paint.

Speaking of the door, it opened revealing a girl that Gaara faintly recognized as Jaden's sister Abby. They'd only met a few times, when Gaara had to pick Jaden up for pranks; she usually answered the door with her nose in a book or a pencil in her mouth. Sometimes he'd notice her watching Jaden and his retreating backs from the upstairs window. According to Jaden, she had her foot almost cut off long before he became her adopted brother and she was a goody-goody two shoes with a stick up her ass constantly. (Or as Jaden described it, A.P.M.S. Always P.M.S-ing.)

Abby approached the front table to look at the seating chart left there. She glanced over to her seat to find that she was sitting next to Jaden's friend, Gaara. She half-smiled, half-groaned, "_Damn it! He's one of Jaden's prankster friends! I'm not gonna get any work done!"_ She cursed inwardly. She was also intrigued; she was good at reading emotions by a person's expressions but everytime she had met him he had confused her by cryptic answers and preferring not to speak. When Jaden spoke of his friends, Gaara had always seemed like a person who understood pain, someone she could talk to; but he was too damn confusing!

She sat in the seat and glanced at him from the corner of her eye, but he sat in stony silence. Finally the late bell rang, and the rest of the class stormed in hurriedly. They sat for about five seconds when the black curtain rose to reveal, probably the gayest guy ever! Diedara flew out in a ballerina's tutu which, sadly, he looked good in. He opened his mouth and let out a shriek which went something like this;

_La la la la!_

_Art is fun, its number one!_

_So put some pepper on a bun!_

_And sing with me because Art is fun!_

_Mix your yellows and browns to make a dun!_

_Mix paints too much it ways a ton!_

_If you do that I'll shoot ya with a gun!_

_You'll scream and shout, and cry "Diedara-kun!"_

_You'll be in so much pain; you'll call for a nun!_

_But she won't come because there isn't one!_

_In this school anyways…_

_Now I may seem like a really bad pun,_

_But you've actually won!_

_So sing with me because… Art…is…FUUUUNNN!_

_La_

To end the horrific display of his weirdness, he curtsied, and then whipped off the tutu. The students covered their eyes, for fear blindness but a suit was on underneath covered by a smock.

"Praise the Lord…" muttered Gaara, who was now trying to figure out why he had ever signed up for this class.

Abby looked horrified that a teacher could ruin a class without even starting it, _"What the hell was that?!_" She stared around at the kids gauging their eyes out with pencils; quickly she leaned over and whispered to Gaara, "Please don't go doing what everyone else is doing. Unlike what Jaden says, I do not suck the blood from helpless victims; I don't want to see your blood today. I would like to keep my breakfast thanks."

"Hn." Even so, Gaara frowned a bit at the word _today_, a rather odd thing for her to say.

"Alright!" Diedara bellowed, "Today we will create our self portrait using any form of art you wish! If you don't understand the directions you're a complete moron! Begin!"

Gaara smirked, an evil idea forming in his head. He brought out a mini-gourd. What was it filled with? Sand. He may not have looked it, but Gaara is a master sand sculptor. Abby drew from her bag her drawing pad and her best graphite pencils. Other kids got paints, pastels, ink, crayons, and markers.

All was going well and the kids were working quietly. That is until an ear-shattering scream came from beneath the red curtain in the corner.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!!!!!!"

This startled everyone. Abby's hand jerked causing her to draw a thick black line on the table, hitting Gaara's hand, Gaara's hands fell into the sand sculpture which caused some grains to go into the eyes of another kid, he flailed his arms around wildly, spilling the red paint onto a student next to him. The student threw up his hands to avoid the paint, accidentally poking his eye with a marker, which dropped to the floor. Another student slipped on the marker and fell to the floor, then another kid tripped over him, causing the kid to hit his head on the side of the table where a ruler lay. The ruler flew into the air and fell behind the curtain. They heard one loud snap, and ruler flew back out. Half of it was missing. And. There. Were. Teeth. Marks. Hence the Domino Effect had ended.

Students screamed, but Diedara had gone fully commando, whipping out a machine gun from the supplies closet.

"Shut up Tobi!" He fired two warning shots into the wall next to the curtain. They heard something close to growling, but then all was silent.

"Okay!" Diedara smiled cheerfully, "I think you've had enough time on your self portraits! Let's see what you've done!"

He strode over to the table with the two students covered in red paint. He looked at what were supposedly self-portraits now covered in red paint. Apparently, he thought it represented blood, because he cried;

"Oh my! You see yourselves committing suicide?! Boys, go see your guidance councilors! You both need help…" Diedara burst into tears and continued, "You're so full of life; you don't need to go through this alone. You can talk to someone!!!!" he continued to blubber even harder while the two boys scurried out of the room. Both were glad to take any excuse to get out of there.

Diedara moved on to Gaara and Abby's table. He looked at Abby's drawing, which had a lot of shading, giving it a gloomy look. She was sitting in a corner, curled up in a ball so you couldn't see her face. He crowed at her, "Oh! The joy and happiness in this drawing is just wonderful!" He squealed happily.

Gaara looked at it too. It was good he admitted, but it was more interesting than anything. It was something beyond sadness; the meaning in this drawing was very special.

Diedara had moved onto his now, it was a life-sized sculpture of Gaara. "You got this," Diedara said pointing to the masterpiece, "from that?" he finished, pointing at the tiny gourd.

"What can I say? I'm good with my hands. But that's not all it can do." He said from his seat behind the sculpture. Unbeknownst to their sensei, Gaara had covered his own arm with sand so it posed as one of the statue's arms. Now the arm moved, scaring the hell out of Diedara, and punched the sensei, knocking him out.

The bell then rang and most of the students rushed out, all except Gaara who collected his sand while laughing hysterically, knowing the sensei wouldn't even know what happened when he woke up.

Abby too, stayed behind and knelt beside Diedara, trying unsuccessfully to revive him. "Hey! You!" she called to Gaara, who was at the doorway. "You were the one that knocked him out! You get back in here and take responsibility for what you've done!"

"The name of the game is not to get caught" he responded, speaking to her for the first time all period.

"How do you know I won't report you?!"

"That would make Jaden become angry with you, he'll make you're life a living hell, which is what you've been trying to avoid."

She glared at him, "Fine! Then go screw yourself, you jerk!"

He turned and smirked, walking out the door. She may be a goody-goody two shoes, but she was passionate when she was angry. Nobody had ever really yelled at him before. Intriguing. Something was telling him he should keep an eye on the Girl with the Limp.

TBC

Boneyboy: Finally! Period 2 is over!

Curleyblue and Gaara: Why are we so mean to each other?!

Boneyboy: Don't worry, you'll see!

Gai: PLEASE REVIEW! NO FLAMES!

Lee: WHY???!!!!

Boneyboy and Torpedo Girl: Cause we're Torpedoes!


	9. Period 3, Polar Bears Live in Atlanta!

Curleyblue: Finally it's Period 3

Curleyblue: Finally it's Period 3!

Boneyboy: Period 3 will only last one chapter.

Kakashi: Finally a short one!

Gaara: Boneyboy-sama and Curleyblue-chan do not own Naruto, if they did, I'd be this generation's Rambo

Chapter 9: Period 3, Polar Bears Live in Atlanta!

(This is now Period 3)

Period 3 began with a group of students milling into the courtyard to learn from the cannibalistic, Venus Fly Trap, multiple personality, Akatsuki member himself; Zetsu! He was sitting under a windy pine tree; this would've been a perfect scene if he had not ruined it by sitting up to his neck in Miracle-Gro™ and was chatting with the petunia next to him. As Shika breathed in to speak, Zetsu snapped at him;

"Shut up!! I'm photosynthesizing…"

Neji, who looked dumbfounded, stammered, "Er, why are we talking to a plant?"

"I'm not a plant!" Zetsu said indignantly, he then burst from the ground to reveal his human body.

Every girl screamed "OMFG! It's a zombie!" And yes, they actually said omfg. Each girl hit the ground in a dead faint. Watching the blonde girl beside him keel over, Shikamaru caught her in his arms; his knees bending slightly due to her weight. A girl beside Neji fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously and dramatically fell back. Her intention was for him to catch her, but obviously didn't know Neji as he let her fall backwards into a deep puddle of mud.

"Er…ladies? I'm not a zombie…" Zetsu sweatdropped. Pretty soon all the other women began to stir and wake up.

"Okay, today we're going to do an overview of this course." Zetsu continued, "I'm going to give a brief summary of some of the countries' nature we will be covering, then I'll make some shit up."

"First!" he cried, catching everyone's attention, "The Arctic! There are no animals or plants there, next!"

"Wait!" Ino cried, her hand shooting up, "What about polar bears?" The rest of the students nodded and murmured their agreement.

Zetsu looked at her, grumpily, "The polar bears got evicted from the Arctic. Now they live in Atlanta playing in fake snow and drinking Coke for commercials."

Kiba looked at him, thinking that this guy had spent too much time in the sun, "Well, may we please move on?"

"Europe and Asia!" the sensei continued, "Lots of exotic plants and animals like bamboo and pandas! Go to north America and you'll see bison! Africa, and you have camels and monkeys! South America, lots of plants to talk about on the Amazon River! Australia, Kangaroos, do I need to say more?"

"Yes." The students answered monotonously.

"Er…Greenland and Iceland!" These two countries are mixed up, Greenland isn't really green! It has a ton of ice! Iceland has many green fields, despite its name!"

Shikamaru asked, "Then, why are they called what they called what they are?"

Zetsu nodded approvingly, "Because the guys that discovered them are just plain stupid. How much time do I have?"

"Twenty-five minutes." Neji answered him.

"Okay, on Friday I'm bringing in some animals for presentation! My Limer and my Pandapus!" he told them all.

Kiba yelled at Zetsu, "What the fuck are those?!"

"Now, now, wash out your mouth!" Zetsu shook his finger at him, "A limer is a cross between a lion and a lemur. A pandapus is a cross between a panda and a platypus!"

"What the heck is wrong with this guy?" whispered Shino.

"After we do the countries we'll be doing meteorology!" Zetsu said happily, "That's all I have to say! You guys can mingle now."

They all did just that, until an unknowing kid accidentally stepped on Zetsu's petunia.

"NOOOOO!!" the Venus Fly Trap screamed, "Petunia!! Die, noob!" he swallowed the accused whole as the bell rang.

The students scurried away in fear.

(Period 3, 40 minutes earlier)

Tenten gulped; her worst subject…Home Economics. This was gonna be horrible. She walked inside to her the rest of the class collectively gasp in horror.

"Hello!" Shizune smiled at her, "Today we're going to make cookies!"

39 minutes later, three students had to go to the nurse's office due to second-degree burns which they swore on their life was from an explosion.

TBC

Curleyblue: Please review!

Boneyboy: 'Cause I'm a Torpedo!


	10. Period 4: The New Three Course Meal

Curleyblue: We're SOOOO sorry

Curleyblue: We're SOOOO sorry!!

Boneyboy: We've had a string of bad luck as of late…

Curleyblue: First, our computer had a virus, so we had to send it to get it fixed, so we worked on the laptop. But then the files with our fanfictions got corrupted, and we lost them. So we had to wait until that got fixed too, by then we had to study for school's finals. I left for Florida right after and now we are only just getting to this.

Boneyboy: So, as our gift to you for being so patient, here it is, Chapter 10!

Gaara: Boneyboy and Curleyblue-chan own nothing.

Chapter 10: The New Three Course Meal: Revenge with a Horrible Project and Pants!

The class tramped into a darkened classroom, some looking rather nervous. Suddenly, a flame came to life on the torch hanging on the wall sending a few students a foot into the air. A dark chuckle came from the front of the room, and Sasuke visibly went red with anger.

"Welcome to my classroom…" the voice spoke, as the florescent lights went on paling the torch in comparison. The light revealed Itachi Uchiha in all his dark, scary-looking glory, but he smiled, making the atmosphere much cheerier. "I'm your teacher, Itachi Uchiha."

Sasuke really couldn't take anymore, "What the…? How did you get out of prison? And why this job? You hate kids!"

"Hmm…." Itachi thought for a minute, "That's a good question little brother, to put it simply, Tsunade got me out because she needed a teacher. I took the job because not only are me and the rest of the Akatsuki professional magicians, she also promised us a free year's supply of donuts!"

The whole class sweatdropped at this statement as Itachi said brightly "But enough about that! We're going start this class with a little bit about yourselves, I'm going to go around the class and you all are going to tell us your name, age, birthday, and what you do to get revenge."

"That is so stupid, just like this class! I mean, revenge?! How can you teach it? And the whole, 'let's learn about each other'? So gay!" the poor, unfortunate kid sitting in the back row yelled out.

Itachi gave the kid a sickly sweet smile, "First of all, Tsunade ran out of subjects for us to teach. Second, I didn't come up with a lesson plan today so we're just doing this, and third, YOU DIE!!"

An owl fluttered off its perch and like a speeding bullet, launched itself at the kid, proceeding to peck the kid's eyes out.

"Aaaaaaauggggggghhhhhh!!" the kid screamed, running out of the classroom, but not before fluids started spraying everywhere…_bodily _fluids. As in, fluids you can only find in the body. The owl came back in and gave a hearty burp as he settled on Itachi's shoulder.

"Ahem…" Itachi continued, "This is my pet owl, Mrs. Crackers, he's a man-eating owl, if you annoy me, he will eat you."

"But…" said Sakura, "Isn't it a boy?"

Itachi gasped as if he had been given an electric shock, "Shut up, shut up! I would kill you, but it's against my beliefs to hurt females!" Then he started to croon to the owl, "Its okay, she didn't mean it. She didn't know that you're a transsexual owl, Mrs. Crackers."

Sakura's eye was twitching by now, as Itachi told her to start the introductions. "My name is Sakura Haruno, I'm 15 years old, my birthday is March 28, and I get revenge by replacing shampoo with alcohol and leaving a lit match near the vicinity of the person's hair."

Itachi laughed and gave her a high-five, "Next!"

Naruto sat up straight, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it! I'm 15 and my birthday is October 10. I sprinkle uranium on the victim's dollar bills so when they pay with cash they get horribly mutated. I keep tellin' them 'Life takes Visa!'

Itachi blinked, "Could you give me the number of your uranium dealer?" He dialed the number and was surprised to hear Neji's phone go off. "You deal uranium?! You're next!"

Neji sighed, "My flat rate is at 15K for 15 grams, talk to me later. Neji Hyuga, 16 years old, July 3, if people annoy me I kill their pets by torching them with a flamethrower.

Itachi hugged Mr.…er, _Mrs._ Crackers protectively, "Next!"

Gaara looked up, "Gaara no Subaku, 15 years old, and my birthday is January 19. (A/N: Curleyblue goes into full stalker-mode!!) I enjoy encasing my enemies in cement and for the finale, push them into shark-infested waters."

As Gaara finished, the door opened and Kisame walked, looking like he was chewing cement, which he was.

"Sorry to interrupt, Itachi-san, but I had to thank your student Gaara!" Kisame turned to the red-head, "Thank you, Gaara! Hilary Clinton tastes delicious in cement!" As soon as that was said Kisame left.

Itachi turned to Gaara in shock, "You killed Hilary?! I love you!!" The class stared at him, "Not in that way, you idiots!! Next, Sasuke!"

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha." The said man stated coolly, "I'm 15 and my birthday is July 23." He glared at the giggling girls in the corner. "I dress up like Jason, and go to people's houses to give them heart attacks."

Itachi started to get weepy, "Just like me! Only I dressed up as Freddy! We should do it together sometime!"

"No!" Sasuke almost shouted, "I'm not being seen outside with you!"

"Okay…" Itachi sniffled, "You! Pineapple-head! You're next!"

Shikamaru yawned, "Shikamaru Nara, this is really troublesome, 15 years old and my birthday is September 22. I mess around with the victim's plumbing."

Itachi nodded thoughtfully, thinking how messy it could be, "Next!"

Jaden smirked, "Jaden Blaze, everybody! I'm 15 and my birthday is July 13, if any of you lucky ladies want to get me a gift. I get revenge by catapulting people into my meat grinder I won in a "Poison Cooking for Fun and Profit" raffle."

Itachi blinked, "Er…next!"

"My name is Amy Tatsuki," the girl in the second row spoke up, "I'm 15 and my birthday is December 19. For revenge I poison a pineapple and leave it at their door, once they eat it they have uncontrollable farting for the next 48 hours."

"Dude, that's nice!" Itachi smiled, "Next!"

"Ino Yamanaka, I'm 15 and September 23 is my birthday. I have a pack of Dobermans released on my targets."

"Thank you Ino." Itachi looked at the clock, "One more then! Next!"

"The name is Temari no Subaku, I'm 18…" she said.

"What are you still doing here?!" Itachi's eyes widened.

"I stayed back to help my brothers, don't interrupt!" Temari snarled, "My birthday is August 23 and I put high blood pressure meds in people's lunches."

The bell rang as Itachi yelled, "Class dismissed, tomorrow we start the actual lesson!"

Everyone rushed out the door, finally Amy stood up and headed for the exit, but not until someone stood in front of her.

Jaden (who Amy recognized as Abby's brother) had Shikamaru in a headlock and was grinning like an idiot.

"Wanna split a pineapple? I'll let you poison it!" Jaden held up poor Shikamaru's head.

"Ha, ha, very funny." Amy brushed past him, her lips twitching.

Jaden looked dumbfounded. "Wait, do you really poison pineapples?"

"Yeah, but it actually lasts for 72 hours. Do you really catapult people into meat grinders?"

Jaden smirked. "Yeah, but the catapult is Gaara's" Poor Shikamaru, unbeknownst to Jaden, was about to pass out from oxygen deprivation.

Amy saw Shika in extreme pain, "Aren't you going to let him go?"

Jaden looked at the now purple Pineapple-head. "Oh, yeah." Jaden finally let go, and Shikamaru fell on the floor, gasping for breath.

Amy continued, "Abby's been telling me a lot about you, that you're a psychotic, sociopathic, heroin-addicted, communist anti-Christ."

Jaden grimaced. "Well, Abby takes any chance to bad-mouth me. She's the one whom bounty hunters and the C.I.A. are after."

Amy waved it away, "Well, maybe I'll see you around." Amy walked off.

Jaden stared after her, "Wow… smart and hot, nice…" Shikamaru meanwhile, finally got off the floor.

"You… owe… me… big time…" He panted.

"How much?"

"One Twinkie at lunch!"

"Deal!"

_Meanwhile…_

Jiraiya had just come from the girl's locker rooms looking quite pleased with himself. "That was a great research session!" he said aloud. Suddenly a kid behind him sniggered. _'Hm? What's that brat laughing at me?'_ Jiraiya looked at him, and the kid abruptly stopped.

"Sorry Vice-Principal-san!" the kid sped off.

Jiraiya's day didn't get any better. All day long the kids were laughing at him for no reason whatsoever. Finally Kakashi came up behind him, took one look at him, and pulled down his pants.

"Wha?!" Jiraiya yelped, "I'm sorry Kakashi, but I don't have feelings for men. And why the hell are you pulling down my pants?!"

"Cause the sign said to." Kakashi said simply.

"What sign?!"

"This sign." Kakashi pulled a piece of paper off his back that clearly said "Pull down my pants!"

"Who did this?!" Jiraiya yelled, outraged, "I'm going to find out who did this and punish them if it the last thing I do!"

_Going Back in Time to 4__th__ Period…_

Lee and Kiba stared at each other in shock, this could not be happening! Iruka, who was teaching the boy's parenting classes, had just given them a huge First Quarter project!

"Lemme get this straight…" Kiba whispered to Lee angrily, "we have to get partnered up with a girl for the whole quarter and take care of a baby doll?!"

"Unfortunately, yes." Lee whispered back.

Iruka continued, "Let us not forget that these dolls have recording devices sealed in them! If you abuse 'em! You fail! Simple as that! The lists for partners are on the board! Make it a priority to meet with them. You'll get your babies tomorrow! Dismissed!"

There was a huge scramble as all the boys rushed to the board. "Who do you have?" Lee yelled over the clamor.

"Some girl I don't know." Kiba pointed to the name.

"Oh, I have someone named Temari." Lee said, pulling Kiba towards the door. "You know what we have to do right?"

"What?"

"We have to warn the others!"

TBC…

Curleyblue: Finally, it's finished!

Boneyboy: The next chapter will be lunch and then at the end of the day, the characters will sum up what happened the rest of the day.

Kakashi: They also find out who their partners are for the dreaded health project!

Gai: PLEASE REVIEW!!

Lee: WHY??

Boneyboy: Cause I'm a Torpedo!!

Curleyblue: 'Sweatdrop'


	11. Lunch: Thank God for it!

Boneyboy: Ok, sorry, we haven't updated in a while, so we will update now!

Curleyblue: Even though the title is a gay one…

Boneyboy: It's not gay!!

Gaara: Boneyboy and Curleyblue own nothing

Chapter 11: Lunch. Thank God for it!

(This is now 5th period)

Lunchtime! The breeding ground of socializing and gossip. The only time kids can relax and be casual. Naruto and co. had just found a table, and sat down, trying to eat whatever part of the lunch that was considered edible.

Everyone was talking about the morning classes, how much fun they were, or how much they sucked.

"My English class sucks! I bumped into Neji's cousin and I almost get killed for it!!" Naruto ranted. Shikamaru was the unfortunate person that Naruto had been ranting to for the past 10 minutes.

He had had enough, "Dude, why are you ranting over nothing? Did you learn from this?" Shika asked.

"No." Naruto answered.

"Good, then we won't have to beat you with rusty shovels." Shika said, munching on his well-earned twinkie.

Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, and Jaden were conversing too.

"You were right Jaden, you're sister is as crazy as you said." Gaara commented.

Jaden looked appalled. "Wait, you have a class with her!?"

Gaara answered. "Yeah, drawing class, with a gay teacher, tutu and all!"

Jaden looked over at the table where the girls were sitting at. More specifically, that Amy girl he met last period. He looked over to Gaara. "Say, buddy, do ya think that girl there would mind if I went over to talk?"

Shikamaru shouted from the other end, "If you use me again, it'll cost you another twinkie!"

Gaara spoke in a whisper, "Well. It worked last period right? She's sitting there, all alone, with something on her mind, what does that mean to you?"

Jaden looked blankly at Gaara, "You know what I think it means? She's a cop." He got up and proceeded to walk over.

Sasuke whispered to Neji, "How much you wanna bet he'll make it?"

Neji replied, "Nah, he's screwed. Two twinkies."

Sasuke smirked. "Deal."

Meanwhile, at the girls table, Abby was talking to Tenten and Hinata. "I don't know how I get stuck with that bastard friend of Jaden's! What's-his-face!" she said while she was chewing, If Abby was talking while chewing; then she was pissed off!

Hinata, not wishing to be the target of her friend's wrath, wouldn't dare tell her to mind her manners, but tried to correct the "What's-his-face" crack.

"Ah, y-you mean G-G-Gaara-san?"

"Yeah, him! Bastard all the same!"

Amy, who was sitting on the other end of the table, preferred to be sullen while eating. Lost in thought, she did not notice that, that Jaden kid had walked over and sat down next to her.

"Now, what's a nice girl like you sitting all alone for?" He asked, trying out a classic pick-up line.

Amy looked at him blankly, "What are you doing here?"

Jaden, knowing that he just got shot down, tried to strike up a conversation. "So, what other stuff has Abby told you about me?"

Amy was actually interested. "Well, one, that you're helping the Iranians."

"They dropped a nuclear warhead, and I was only returning it." He countered. They really did drop it, he was only being nice!

Amy continued, "Second, that you dressed up as Santa and stole valuables when you came down people's chimneys."

"That was a Christmas gag, and I was drunk on multiple alcohols at the time." Again, he countered. It's true; he had scotch, beer, sake, vodka, tequila, and eggnog in the same night.

"Third, you gave Michael Phelps that bong!"

"The guy paid me a few hundred bucks, it was a great deal! I got the stuff cheap off of eBay."

Amy snorted and went back to eating, completely ignoring her companion. Instead, Jaden tried a different approach, "See that guy over there?" Jaden pointed to Sasuke, "He wants to know if you think I'm cute."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Nice try." She got up to leave, but turned in mid-step to kick poor Jaden in the balls. He, in turn, curled into the fetal position and whimpered piteously.

Sasuke smirked at Neji, "Technically, he made it, so pay up."

"_Technically_, he got kicked in the balls, so, _you_ pay up!" Neji snapped.

"N-no." Neji and Sasuke turned to face an ashen-faced Jaden, who was wheezing in pain. "Sasuke's right, this just m-means she likes me!" Jaden grinned.

"Hello Neji, my eternal rival!" A green blur stopped at their table, Lee saluted him.

"Hey Neji, how do you know Bushy Brows?" Naruto pointed rudely, "Isn't he a Red Dorm loser?"

Neji coughed, "Our parents just happen to be friends, and Lee considers me a rival of martial arts."

Shikamaru looked up lazily, "How do _you_ know him, Naruto?"

Naruto scowled, "We worked on a project together, and that's all!"

Lee cleared his throat, "Er…excuse me! I need to tell you something very important! I was just in our parenthood class, and we've got a project already!"

All the boys' faces drained of color, "What?! Already?! It's the first day!" they all shouted in unison.

Lee spoke in hushed whispers to the others as the bell rang again.

xXxX Huge Time-skip! XxXx

Ino did a big cartwheel in front of the large group of girls, all on their way back to their dorms at the end of the day. "Well, how was your end of the day classes, guys?" She turned the cartwheel into a back flip as she spoke.

"Awesome!" Abby squealed, "We're gonna read _The Iliad_ in Ancient Lit, and the horses… oh my god! I love them! We got assigned horses, and I have… an Appaloosa!" Her grin spread from ear to ear.

Temari smirked, "We don't speak cowgirl."

"Oh. The one you said looks like a Dalmatian, which totally fits his name! Cause it's Pongo! Like in the movie!" She did a little dance.

Tenten started dancing too, "My classes are gonna be fun! I'm totally gonna make weapons in Metalworking! Best of all, Kakashi won't care! Yay!"

Sakura scowled, "You'd better not try to get back into your old habits Tenten! You can't get in trouble again or else that rich, evil, aunt of yours is gonna send you to boarding school."

"But I miss being a bad girl!" Tenten whined, "I guess I have to do it for you guys though…"

Sakura grinned, "Well too bad Tennie! You would've liked revenge class!"

All of them laughed as Tenten grumbled at that, and the nickname, that is until Amy killed the mood, "What the hell are we gonna do about that parenthood project?!"

Everyone went deathly silent. "We're screwed aren't we?" Sakura smiled weakly.

Ino snorted as she did a tuck jump, "You're only saying that because you got stuck with the guy that you had a major fangirl crush on through middle school!"

Sakura blushed an angry red, "I don't like Sasuke anymore Ino! He was a total jerk and I was a fool! You got stuck with the lazy guy I heard!"

"Maybe our classmates were just exaggerating when they said that this Shikamaru guy was lazy! Either way, we are definitely splitting the work fifty-fifty!" huffed Ino

"How much do you wanna bet she'll do all of it?" muttered Tenten to Temari.

"Fifty bucks." Temari shook her hand, "Those guys are lucky! At least they got Black Dorm guys; I got stuck with some Red Dorm loser named Rock Lee!"

Tenten burst out laughing as Sakura flushed red, "You mean," Tenten choked, "t-the guy that is s-stalking Saku-chan?!"

Temari's eyebrows rose, "That's the guy? Woah. Shall I tell him any personal info?" she waggled her eyebrows at Sakura who shook her head vehemently.

"I got some guy named Neji!" Tenten volunteered.

"W-what?!" All the girls spun around at Hinata's exclamation, "Y-you got m-my c-c-cousin?! T-the guy y-you f-f-fought w-with in T-taijutsu…"

"Oh my god! That was your cousin?!" Tenten stared, wide-eyed at Hinata.

All the other girls sighed…Tenten was acting stupid again. "Who'd thought that they had the same last name so they must be related?" said Amy, sarcastically to Tenten.

Tenten looked stung, "What's with the attitude Ames? You get someone you didn't like or are you just PMSing?"

Amy groaned, "I got this guy who's been hitting on me all day, otherwise known as Jaden, Abby's brother!"

Abby handed a Hazmat suit to Amy, "This will protect you! It also has an MP3 hookup!" Her face looked very grave indeed. "I keep two on me just in case he decides to come within ten feet of me. You'd be wise to do the same." Abby said, "I got that Gaara guy that knocked out Deidara-sensei!"

Temari grinned, "My bro, who you've been calling a bastard all day?"

Abby grumbled, "I hate people that don't follow rules and take responsibility for their actions! Of course you guys are the only exceptions to the rule because there seems to be no way I can control you guys…"

"Got that right!" the five girls shouted in unison as Hinata spoke quietly, "I-I got N-N-N-Naruto-san." She blushed a very deep red.

"Too bad Hinata, Naruto's an idiot! You're not gonna get too much done if he's helping." Sakura crowed.

Temari smirked suddenly, "I think it's time we paid those boys a little visit, what do you think girls?"

"Yeah!"

On that note, Temari took off for Red Dorm, while the others went to the Black Dorm…

xXxX Meanwhile in Red Dorm XxXx

Lee, Kiba, Kankuro, Choji, and Shino were just trying to recover from the shock of a project on the first day.

Kankuro was laying on a futon, which, unknown to him, was rat infested. "My God! I don't think I'll sleep well for the next few years."

Kiba was about to add on to that, when there was a knock on the door. He got up, tripping on a rat; he made it to the door. As he opened it, Temari was there, but Kiba, who did not really know Temari, thought she was the "room service"

"Hey guys, I got a MILF here!"

Kankuro ran over and slugged Kiba, "That's my sister dammit!!"

Temari completely ignored this exchange of worthless information and shouted to the dorm room, "Oi! I'm looking for Rock Lee! Is he here?!"

Amidst the screams of pain from Kiba and the vivid cursing from Kankuro, Rock Lee managed to hear her and approached her; his happy-go- lucky smile permanently stuck to his face. Making sure he was extremely polite, he said, "Hi! You must be… Temari, right? I'm Rock Lee."

Temari grabbed Lee's outstretched hand, but instead of shaking his hand, she dragged him outside. Kiba and Kankuro had stopped fighting in the few seconds it took for the door to shut. Both boys moved and put their ears to the door, anything for a little action! (A/N: Pervs… Kakashi and Jiraiya: did someone call for us?)

Lee was a bit surprised, what was with him and chicks? Sure that last chick was actually a horse disguised as a hobo, who was disguised as a guy, who was disguised as Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was disguised as Michael Moore, who was disguised as a chick, but when was that so wrong?

Temari pointed a finger to Lee's nose, "Now listen here, punk… If we have to be a strange, "happy," dysfunctional couple for a project, then we are both doing work, 50-50, no slacking on either part. If you slack off on me, your life will be HELL here. Are we clear?"

Lee gulped, "Like butter"

Temari scoffed, and stomped off back towards her dorm. Lee went back inside, thoroughly scared…

xXxX Earlier in Black Dorm XxXx

The girls stopped in front of the guys' Black Dorm, ready to find, as Abby described it, a place of "fire and brimstone"

Abby stepped in front of the door, equipped with her Hazmat suit, and listening to "So What" by P!nk. She opened the door, and began to breathe heavily, as if there was no oxygen.

The other girls thought the place was… just like a normal dorm room. They could not understand why Abby was overreacting to this.

The said occupants of said room, stared at the 6 females who had just broken in to said room. (A/N: Yay for "Said")

Jaden was also wearing his Hazmat suit, "I knew you were coming, my "Abby-sense" was tingling! Unlike your suit, mine comes with a cattle prod!" Without further ado, he shocked Abby.

Like Temari, the group blocked out the sounds of, 'It's on now, bitch!!' and fighting, and screaming, and the breaking of the surround sound system, and the accidental involvement of Gaara and his teddy bear, Mr. Snuffykins.

Ino screamed, "All right, we're all splitting up, depending on your parenthood partner, get your asses over here now!!"

Shikamaru lazily dragged himself over to Ino. "You called, your highness?" He asked sarcastically.

A vein was throbbing in Ino's forehead. "Okay, we are doing work, EVENLY!!!! No slacking! You got dat!?"

Shika sighed, "You're gonna make me do it, even if I don't want to, right?"

Ino nodded.

Shikamaru fell backwards, sighing in annoyance.

xXxX With Sasuke and Sakura XxXx

Sakura had managed to get over her awkwardness and grab Sasuke's attention long enough to explain to him the parameters of their working together. "You better do your part!" she said bravely.

Sasuke only answered with, "Hn, you PMSing or something?"

Sakura then double slapped him and stomped out. Shutting the door behind her, she said brightly, "I think I handled that pretty well!" She walked back to her dorm room, strutting confidently.

xXxX With Jaden and Amy XxXx

Amy stopped the fight by grabbing Jaden by the neck, holding him up against a wall, about ready to beat the shit out of him.

"Now you listen to me…" Amy said threateningly, " you keep your hands to yourself, and do as I say, and it'll be just fine. 'kay?"

Jaden smirked, "Whatever you say, 'honey.'"

Amy dropped him, and Jaden landed with a thud. She walked away, back to her blue dorm.

xXxX With Neji and Tenten XxXx

'_Well, this is awkward…'_ Tenten squirmed in her cross-legged position, trying to think of something to say to the guy across from her, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. _'How hard could it be to start a conversation? Just say something like 'Hey, awesome sparring today.' No…that's too lame…aaargghh…what the hell do you say to a stiff?!"_ Her thoughts-slash-rants were cut short when Neji's eyes snapped open so suddenly it threw her off balance.

"This is about the project right?" His lavender eyes were coolly observing her surprised expression. "I will do my part if that is what you are wondering."

She flustered around for something to say, utterly embarrassed, and not sure how to respond to such a cut-and-dry statement. Instead of trying to work on a lost cause, she screwed up her face and said in a voice full of assurance, "I'm sure you will. I'm expecting a good grade on this Neji Hyuga." She was very pleased with that response and to make it more final, she left, snapping the door shut behind her.

Neji stared after her for a minute, wondering why girls have to be so strange…

xXxX With Naruto and Hinata XxXx

"Hiya Hinata!!!" Naruto gave her the classic foxy grin as he bounded up to her. "Hey, do you want to see a magic trick?! I convinced one of the teachers to finally show me one!"

He was rambling again, this time about how amazing he found his teachers/magicians. Staring at the floor, feeling very strange indeed, Hinata mumbled; "Um, ah, Na…"

Naruto stopped mid-word, "Ahhh! Sorry Hinata, you're trying to say something." He smiled politely, waiting for her to continue.

"W-well, I…"

"OH!" Naruto cut her off again, exclaiming loudly as he smacked his forehead; "You're my project partner, I forgot. You're right. We'll definitely do our best to be good parents!"

"Th-th-than…"

"Don't mention it!" He interrupted once again, "But Hinata… I'm not so good with kids… I hope you can forgive me in advance." He grimaced dramatically, but before Hinata could say anything, he said, "Thanks! That's a really nice thing to say!" His cerulean eyes were glittering with joy at the apparent compliment that the girl had given him.

Before Hinata knew it, she had set a meeting with him at Ichiraku Ramen Stand, (apparently the blonde's favorite) tomorrow, and was whisked out the black door in a flurry of activity. This left her extremely confused and dizzy as she stumbled back to her dorm.

XxXx With Gaara and Abby XxXx

Both participants were sweating furiously. It had been a very difficult conversation for the two. First off all, neither liked talking unless it was to close companions. Second, in order to get the conversation off to a good start, Abby apologized for her words and actions from earlier, luckily, he accepted them (the corner of his mouth twitching all the while). Finally, because both were not fans of conversation, they relayed their messages through a friendly game of Pictionary. Needless to say, neither, even with their artistic abilities, was very good at Pictionary.

"Is that a pig?"

"Are you sure that's supposed to represent sharing? Looks like two potato chips…"

"Oh! The pig is a baby!"

In the end however, the message was properly conveyed and Gaara spoke; "I'll do my part if you do yours." To which Abby agreed.

Finally, she left as well, leaving the boys alone to lament their situation as the sun finally set on their first day.

TBC

Boneyboy: Finally, an update!

Gai and Lee: REVIEW!!!!

Torpedo Girl: Cause we're torpedoes!


End file.
